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ссылка на сообщение  Отправлено: 09.05.06 12:24. Заголовок: Mother's Day!


The following are different answers given by school-age children to the given questions:

Why did God make mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He Just used bigger
parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice
in the world and one dab of mean.
2. The had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use
string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother & not some other mom?
1. We're related
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be
pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get
drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and
YES
to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats
a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?

1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a
goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the
bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than
dad.

What's the difference between moms & dads?

1. Moms work at work and work at home & dads just go to work at
work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power
'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your
friend's.
4. Moms have Jesus; they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. She pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of
plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd
get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister
who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back
of her head.
http://www.stayathomemom.com

С наступающим!!!

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ссылка на сообщение  Отправлено: 13.05.06 10:55. Заголовок: Re:


Mother's Dictionary

Amnesia: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to make love again.

Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

Family Planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

Full Name: What you call your child when you're mad at him.

Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

Ow: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.

Puddle: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

Show Off: a child who is more talented than yours.

Sterilize: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

Top Bunk: where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.

Two Minute Warning: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

Verbal: able to whine in words

Whodunit: none of the kids that live in your house..

Weekend: when Dad gets to play golf while Mom catches up on the laundry, cleans the house, runs errands, etc.


http://www.humormatters.com/holidays/mothersday.htm#Mother's


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